Everyone Should Have Goals

On October 19, 2008, I set a challenge for myself to not drink alcohol or caffeine until Halloween. Well, twelve days have past, it is now October 31st and I have successfully reached my goal. I have not had one drop of either alcohol (no beer...no wine...no prosecco...no cheap vodka and diet rockstars) or caffeine (Peets might be almost going out of business by now). I am pretty darn proud of myself.

This is a pretty big deal for someone like me. We are talking about a girl who at age 3 responded to the question, "Why do you like beer so much?" with "Because it makes me Happy!" Yeah...no joke. Some things never change. I digress...

So now that I have reconfimed once again how truly awesome I am..... (oh did I mention I have not had one piece of Halloween candy either...oh I didn't? oppsy poopsy...) by reaching this goal, I feel like I need to set a new goal...So here it is folks and I think it is perfect for me:

GOOGLE WHACKING

Here's how it works: Visit Google. Submit a query of two words (4 and 30 characters in length), but don't use quote marks. Use no punctuation in your words, and no numbers (just 26 letters from A through Z). Find two words that return one result, then see whether Whack agrees.


Most of you know that my google searching skills, particularly my google image searching skills are pretty much out of control. So this should be a fairly easy challenge but we shall see. I am not gonna set a deadline or anything. But I will keep everyone updated on my efforts. Wish me luck..Google Google!
(ps: i plan on gettin drinkin rather heavily tonight....don't worry- the Machine is back!)

Since I am going as a Panda for Halloween, I just couldn't resist.

Just when you thought they couldn't get any cuter...



Warning: This might make you cry. These little guys are probably the sweetest things ever. This video is a little slow...but worth the watch. I am literally crying here at my desk. Thank god for office doors. This makes me think of Zoe!!!


(I just wish I knew what a rocking tube was)

Happy Hallooooooweeeeeeeeeen!

I had to ride the bus with this "guy" all the way to work today at 7 am ..... gotta love Halloween. Did he really have to wear the mask the entire bus ride? He could have held it in his lap, right? I do applaud is dedication and commitment to the costume.

(Note: In order to take this picture, I had to pretend like I was text messaging. But my stupid cell phone camera doesn't have the option to turn the shutter sound off. So every time I attempted to take a picture it made the CLICK noise. But I have no idea if duder noticed me or not since he had that gnarly mask on. I am not a huge fan of masks. I don't like not knowing whether or not someone is looking at you or if they are making weird creepy faces under there or who freakin knows what could be going on under that hot piece of rubber...let your imagination go wild. I know mine does...hence why I try to avoid eye contact at all cost with anybody wearing a mask.)

It's that time again...for weird freaky pet costumes!

You either love em or hate em! I can't decide how I truly feel about them. Part of me feels really bad for the animal and part of me finds it pretty damn funny. What I find more sad and somewhat creepy...is who the hell are these people who put all this time and money into these costumes for their damn pets? I mean....its not like they are going trick or treating..or like they are gonna get any candy out of wearing these things. I barely had time or money or energy to think of my own costume let alone one for my pet. Although, I will admit. If I found an otter costume, I would have dropped fifty bones EASILY to see my baby Devo dressed up!

She basically is one already! See:

(now imagine her with a little shell her in her paws...aw...so damn cute!)

Anyhoo...on with the weird pet costumes................





(rice krispie treat....did i use this last year?)

(I know this is not an animal costume...but its a baby as a turkey...which is an animal but this is a cooked animal...this is just freakin odd...gobble gobble mo-fo)

Melissa is Eating her Babies!

Animal Planet has a new series called Living With the Wolfman. It follows a couple that lives among a pack of wolves--RAD!I guess it's about a dude named Shaun who is a British wolf expert and he gets his girlfriend to live with him among the pack. Word on the street is that it is even weirder and funnier than the movie Grizzly Man.... It premiered last week and it's on again tonight at 10:30 pm. I think I might just have to DVR this baby since I can't seem to stay awake past 9 pm lately. Hearing about weird people living with wild animals just made me want to watch some of my favorite scenes of Timothy Treadwell.So here are some oldies but goodies.......Damn it Spirit!

Seriously? Seriously....oh man.

CANDY CORN BARK

(click here for recipe....don't trip.... it has like 5 ingredients)

I don't know who this "recipe girl" is but I think I am in love!

Apple Pie with lattice work of cinnamon Bacon on top

I am not the biggest fan of apple pie...but I will pretty much eat anything with "bacon lattice" on top. Now......as I sit here looking at this picture, I am toying with the idea of what a pumpkin pie with bacon lattice would taste like...hmmm...research project!!!

Beautiful Bacon Apple Pie

Someone stole a base..run for the Border!!!

Go to Taco Bell: TODAY BETWEEN 2PM and 6 PM

It's only 11 am and I am ready for bed...is that wrong?

It must me Fall! This weather makes me want to go home- put on my comfy clothes, lay on the couch and watch hours and hours of movies...let me rephrase that....SLEEP THROUGH hours and hours of movies. I can't lie. Sleeping through movies is one of the things I do best in life. Especially to movies like Lord of the Rings (I still don't think I have made it through the first one), Excalibur or basically any weird Sci-fi or historical action type flick (basically any film meg and ted love).... Try as I might, my eye lids just get so heavy and it just feels so good and then BOOM---I am out. It's not that I think they are bad films, or that they are boring. Its just that the way the speak is so slow and somewhat monotone and the film itself is pretty dark and the music is all slow and dramatic and eehhhhhhhh...I don't know man...it puts me out just about as good as a tall boy and a half an ambien.

Save the Rave

How is it possible that the Mad Men Season Finale is Already upon us?

Is the Question- "What are 3 things that I would love to do with Don Draper?"

.......I mean Dick Whitman ....I mean...Don..I mean....ah crap.  

check out this site to see the other Truthful TV- Title Cards...these are pretty spot on!

The dude in the towel is my favorite!

A French Community College attempts to lip sync to "Thriller!"
It made me smile...

Lip Dub IUT SRC Rouen 2008
by arcanes-prod

If you know me, you know I am DYING right now!

A freakin Halloween celebratin' Otter? There is a God! (ps: the Jack-o-latern is filled with prawns....I know...I know...so damn cute)

The 49ers might not be looking too hot

But Damn....do we look good or what?

za- za- za- ZIMA

I know you guys have all been really curios about this and yes..yes it's true...Zima will now look completely different. I know..I know...Check out the new "look" of Zima here. But if you still wanna remember the good times...check out this:
Zima history

Uh-oh......

I am not sure if any of you have had my mom's cheesey-bacon-bread appetizer things...but I think this would just push that recipe over the edge. I don't know if I want to buy a gallon of this right now or throw up.....

"All Together Now"

Last night, I went all the way out to the east bay with four of my favorite people to see a documentary about 4 of my other favorite people. It's called "All Together Now." It is a feature-Length documentary that chronicles the making of The Beatles’ “LOVE” by Cirque du Soleil. All though I had seen it before a few years back randomly on like BBCA or something, seeing it on the big screen was pretty much amazing. It left us all pretty much speechless. Most of us were pretty much prepared to hop on a plane right then and there and fly to Vegas to see the show...if we all weren't so damn broke.
But really the best part, was that they choose to end the movie with the song No Reply, which just happens to be my little brother's favorite song (and well..mine too honestly) right now. Sean boy was sick yesterday so he couldn't make it the screening of the movie....so having them end the movie with that song was a perfect ending to a pretty much perfect night....

This happened once before,
When I came to your door,
No reply.
They said it wasn't you,
But I saw you peep through your window,
I saw the light, I saw the light,
I know that you saw me,
'cause I looked up to see your face.

I tried to telephone,
They said that you weren't home,
That's a lie,'
cause I know where you've been,
I saw you walk in your door,
I nearly died, I nearly died,
'cause you walked hand in hand
With another man in my place.

If I were you I'd realize that I
Love you more than any other guy,
And I'll forgive the lies that I
Heard before when you gave me no reply.

I've tried to telephone,
They said you were not home,
That's a lie,
'cause I know where you've been,
I saw you walk in your door,
I nearly died, I nearly died,
'cause you walked hand in hand
With another man in my place.

No reply, no reply.

(No Reply- The Beatles)

Oh yeah..then on Bart, Meg decided to play with her cell phone. Man..the shit you do when you are stuck out in the east bay..oy vey! Enjoy:

I wish I had a pool filled with Beer

Sloshspot looks at just how much beer America consumes

This really Should Be Illegal...it's that Damn Good...

I am warning you. If you open this around me. And I am left alone with this. I will 100 % guarantee you that the majority of the container will be gone, or at least all of the rye chips will be for sure.

Everyone should own a 20Q

I actually do own my very own 20 Question Ball (a red one). I remember the day I bought it. It blew my mind. I knew after the first time I saw a commercial for the "20Q" (which I thought had to be a total scam) that I had to have one. I had to see if it really could guess. I was soooooooo skeptical (typical)...anyways...went to target. bought the ball. bought the AA batts. opened the package in the car. luckily my sister was driving so I could commence playing with the 20Q immediately.

So now I had to decide what word I was going to "think of" to try to make the ball "guess." I did not want to pick person, place, thing or mineral...so I went with the obvious next choice...an OTTER! I was hesitant at first. I was like "no way. its never gonna get otter. that's too hard." But then I started "playing" (aka pressing either yes, no or sometimes to the random questions it asks like "does it weigh more than a pound of butter?- which does not make sense. why doesn't it just say, "does it way more than a pound?" why butter? why not yogurt? or velveeta?")

So back to the otter question game....I keep thinkin -there is no way its gonna get it because the questions seem so broad and general that they could lead to anything...but guess what....after twamp questions...what does the lil red fire ball guess...OTTER!!

Hey yooooooooooooooo! Blew my freakin mind....After that it was like game on...I didn't put that bad boy down for weeks. I was always amazed at some of the things it would guess correctly. Sometimes though it would give you answers that were a little bit off but I could sorta see how they came up with that results, sorta. IBelow are some of my favs that I can remember:

I was thinking GERMANY and it guessed MAP...nice, right?

I was thinking BEER and it said VODKA...okay...kinda...

I was thinking of WIENER and it guessed URETHRA (pretty good..not bad). Best part was, that these were a few of its 20 Questions: "Does it bring people joy?" --Sometimes..."Is it hard?"-- sometimes..."does it get wet?"---Sometimes....i was dying

My all time favorite: I was thinking CHILI and it guessed DIAPER.....ew. gnarly...



If you are lucky enough to have spent anytime with me, you would know that I love pizza, that I basically have the sense of humor of a perverted 13 year old boy and that I love my 20 Q . So ......with that said, after finding the following "chat" (click it to read) you would have thought that I found my long lost BFFs!

Surfin Bird greater than or equal to this?

I really really wish I could take credit for being clever and creative enough to come up with such distinct and precise google search terms to have found the following video clip. A clip that some how made me almost choke on and yet want to projectile vomit my pumpkin curry all over my cat...simultaneously. ouch eee wah wah. (Yeah..I don't get it either...just go with it...you get the idea.) Basically, I was watching weird videos of people dancing to "Surfin Bird" (business as usual for the past few weeks) and low and behold, I came upon this lil' gem..... "The Crazy German Dance"



Sometimes, it just amazes me how with just one click, the world wide web will open your eyes to stuff one probably does not need to see. No but seriously...you don't have to watch the whole thing...but just watch a few secs and you get the idea...the title says enough. No but seriously, what is more odd to me, besides how "Surfin Bird" led me here, is who the hell is filming this shite and who told "Nana" to do the whole crotch grab? really? really? alright...go with what cha know... All I know, was I received a little gift from above when I just happened to stumble upon this video without having to do much work at all. How bout them apples?

Happy Oktoberfest...i think?

Funny because its true, right? right?.... RIGHT?

Sometimes the dudes over there at McSweeney's just hit the nail on the head:

Sex Is Like Pizza Because .....
BY MIKE SACKS AND TED TRAVELSTEAD

... it's always brought to my house by a teenager or a foreigner in 30 minutes or less.

... my penis looks like a pepperoni stick.

... napkins are needed.

... it always goes a little better with coke.

In Honor of it being 69 (haha...69/ 420/ 143) days til Christmas...

The Bacon, Beer, Pizza and Baby Otters Blog is Back!

It's just way too sad that my last posting was in December of 2007. I can't believe I have not touched this bad boy in over ten months. Oy vey. I mean, I guess it makes sense. Looking back, the blogging stopped basically around the time when I moved back to San Francisco. I also started a new job where I actually do WORK .... which makes it a little difficult to update this thing as often as I used to. But...I think the time has come to start updating this thing because:

a.) I am tired of my sister telling me I should start doing my blog again.

2.) I am getting in the bad habit again of sending everyone and their mom like 500 emails a day of stupid crap that is most likely either about bacon, Mad Med, or something that probably I only find funny.

c.) my google image searching skills have become just too damn good to not share with the world. Be prepared for the Machine to blow your freakin minds.

d.) I even forgot how freakin funny this shit was until I started re-reading some of my postings!....I mean...seriously! There is truly some random ass stuff on here. Even I am like "what the? Who the? Where the hell did she find that?" ( .....i dont know but i want more....whatever it is......)

So.......................yada yada yada...... I will do you all a favor. You will no longer have to deal with your inboxes being crammed full of email from me and sorting through which ones are actually worth reading. You can just check this page out. Or not. Because I know my sister (battlestar gallactica) will. So that's cool, I guess. Anyways... ahhh. hem.

I just have one question for you.. Do you, or do you not know, that the bird, is the word?