Pretty, Pretty Pretty Smart

I mean...I tend to eat pizza so fast that I don't even waste my time with a "plate" or have enough  leftover pizza that would necessitate a storage box for the fridge (if any left at all) but that's just me. Regardless....this is pretty damn clever.

This kitty Puts the "Sweepy" in Sweepy Lil' Baby

I don't want to admit how many times Rachel and I watched this video. Nor do I want to admit to the kinds of squeaks and squeals that came out of our mouths while we goo-goo'd and gaa-gaa'd over this munchkin.

I was gettin worried that my blog was just not enough anymore.

So....I recruited some additional help to spread my thoughts and wisdom to the rest of the world (or at least to portions of Market Street here in San Francisco!)

My BaDizzle

....Sorry for the Coitus Interruptus.....

(you would think that being unemployed would allow me to keep this bad boy updated with new awesome and obviously ridiculously funny posts but somehow I have been pretty much uninspired which means no bloggy blog. But I got the bug again- so be prepared to laugh your butts off....cause Quack attack is back Jack!)

BACON BEER PIZZA and BABY OTTERS: the most updated and raddest blog EVER! Keeyah!!!

Once again....Bacon makes something great...even better!

Yes, my friends...that is Bacon Flavored Pancakes. I am not a huge pancake fan but when I do eat them- I love to drench them and pretty much everything else on my plate (ex: bacon, eggs, sausage....) with a massive amount of syrup. (weird....Courtney using an excessive amount of a condiment on her food??? no..that can't be!) I can't wait to try these bad boys....who is down for some flap jacks? Eat my shorts IHOP. You ain't got nuttin on these.

Oh yeah...haha...this dude even has 5 different flavors of BACON JERKY including Jalapeno and some Tomato/ BLT flavor! Wah wah wee wah. Check out the description from the website....try not to wet yourself:

"The best part about Bacon Jerky in comparison to regular bacon is that when you cook bacon, the aroma floats through the air calling out to those around you to come and get it which means that you have to share. With Bacon Jerky it’s ready to eat the second you want it! "

Um....if that is not a little piece of heaven then I don't know what is. check out this rad blog that is responsible for all this porky product goodness: Bacon is Meat Candy

A little insight on my take on Valentines Day

me: what are you doin for your girlfriend for V-day?

unnamed: well she told me to do nothing. she said it was a silly ass holiday.....

me: hahahah right :) dont we all!

unnamed: you do? ahh fuk

me: yup! i think its a retarded holiday BUT.............................. so is easter !

unnamed: riiiiiiight

me: but i still want a damn cadbury egg!

unnamed: hahahahahah

The decision has been made.....

My first purchase with the money I get from my first unemployment check shall be:

I might even opt to "go LARGE".....we will just have to wait and see how angry I am that day!

Pretty Spot on Trader Joe's Commercial

except he forgot to mention the dope prosecco

Headline on CNN:

"Healthy kidney removed through donor's vagina "

Ouch eeee wah wah!

no thanks!

Is this going to be forever?

Stoned Little Kid After Dentist Visit - Watch more Free Videos
I really wonder what sorta procedure this kid had that required the dentist to use so much drugs that he got so f'd up. I love hearing peoples stories of how weird they got after they had their wisdom teeth taken out. After I woke up from getting my wisdom teeth out- i was ALL weird when they woke me up. When they tried to assist me with walking and help me lay down afterwards- I swear I almost decked out one of the nurses. ..i was like DON'T TOUCH ME...i am FINE. Meanwhile- my friend told me he woke up and said he got up and like hugged the entire nursing staff and doctor. Another buddy said he asked his mom if she wanted him to drive, because he was not used to being wasted in front of his parents. When they were putting my sister under for her wisdom teeth she told the nurses "I am just gonna close my eyes- but you guys can keep talking. I am totally still listening. I am just shutting my eyes." They were probably like...sure honey....Totally like shit you say at a sleep over when you are totally falling asleep !! Oh man- but the funny thing is...is that we were all probably like 19 years old at the time that we dealt with all that. This poor kid is like what..7 years old?? Ha Ha Ha....oh man. Party On!

Kinda Creepy.....

Freaky kids...but just seeing the word "Cadbury" makes want a creme egg..god damn it!

This sorta BLEEP cracks me the BLEEP up

Like I needed one more reason to go to Thailand

Check out this pizza from a Thai pizza chain called, The Pizza Company (<----click here)

Did I die and go to heaven? just a few of your stuffed crust choices include:
Pork Cheese burger
Double bacon cheese
Extra Cheesy Sausage bites
Puff (wtf???--i guess this is sorta like a calzone)

And this is just the crust options....check out the cheese dippin sauce! oh mama mia!

Matthew 26:27

Amen Brutha. Um....so..supposedly this is on Haight and Masonic...I literally live like one block away from this...I am gonna go investigate and see if this truly exists. If they offered bacon and beer at church- I just might go attend Sunday mass more often then I do now...which is basically never!

I used to pound the "blood of Christ" as a kid. I think i was the only one in my family who would go for it. After eating the little wafer/ communion/necco wafer/ Styrofoam tasting thingy..I would get in the wine line and wait my turn with my hands folded all weird (you have to fold them in some weird way- all cupped and I can never remember how....I don't think anybody really knows how and everyone just pretends to know.) Then some fellow church person- probably an oldie- would hold up the goblet (which they would just wipe with a hankie and turn after the person before me- probably another oldie- just took a sip of wine aka "blood" from it....sorta not sanitary at all...but whatevs.....free wine is free wine...especially when you are like 9 years old!!) So they hold it up and say BLOOD OF CHRIST and i would say AMEN....and then take the big ol cup, tilt my head back and just gulp!! They would usually have to pull the cup away! Whatever...I am just getting my moneys worth I guess. Then I would just walk back to my aisle to hook back up with the rest of my family (sans Dad since "he didn't believe in god" ---no FAIR!!) and pretend to pray and/ or bug my siblings...ususally a combo of both!

It's not even a question of what I am gonna watch tonight!

For some people- especially those without DVR (losers), tonight could be a night of personal struggle. A night of filled with a wrenching internal debate of what do! An evening ruined by constantly going back and forth about which show to watch. "Do I watch the Season Premier of LOST or Restaurant Wars on Top Chef?" This is all sorta like the earlier episodes of LOST "Do I push the button or NOT?"

What to do? What to choose? Puh-leeeese.....Gonna be honest...I am not excited one bit for the season premier of LOST tonight. Kinda don't give a hoot. I used to be the biggest die hard LOST fan (check previous postings from years past) but now....duck don't give a F*ck. I couldn't even make it through last season. So sorry Charlie.

The choice is easy for me... So..Sorry Tailies....Sorry all you "front people on the plane" and sorry to all the random new people from that boat (not really- you were all pretty annoying)...this girl is gonna watch Top Chef.

I am actually pretty damn excited for mutha f'in RESTAURANT WARS on Top Chef though...KEE YAH! My friends and I have a running bet going. We chose who we thought would win TOP CHEF (not who we wanted to win...totally different) and whoever LOSES has to take the winning team out to dinner to the restaurant of their choice! The cheftestant doesn't necessarily have to win the show- it's just whoever makes it on the show the longest! Let's meet the teams:

Team Stefan: Courtney and Johnny
Although he is a total dick (I mean...cock) we think he just might win the title of Top Chef. I hate him..but he just might get me a free meal.



Team Fabio: Schroeder and Rachel
I think they both just had a boner for his little Italian accent at first. But pretty boy ain't looking too hot lately! Sorry pasta boy!

The funny thing is, is that none of really want either of these two dudes to win. We all sorta want Hosea to win but we picked these guys from the start so we are stickin with them. Not too many episodes left.....Johnny and I better start thinking about where we want to go.....

San Francisco isn't afraid to get rid of its BUSH

even if it is just for a day...Bush Street gets a make over here in San Francisco (<--click to read)

sorta makes me pop a woody

Super Rad Scrabble Keyboard

Go Obama!

Lord knows I have.....

Do you ever do something, and then think to yourself: That's So Raven?
-Zack Galifinackis

In all seriousness- I secretly do kinda like her show. I mean...it's not like I watch it religiously every week- or like I DVR it or anything (there really is no need because its on so often otherwise I would toy with the idea of recording it). I haven't had a chance to watch the show in a while but when I was living in the mission with my sister, I definitely caught a few too many Saturday mornings on the couch or in my bed, with Devo in my lap, watching That's So Raven on Disney-legitimately laughing pretty hard and all joking aside....enjoying myself. I mean...the chickie babe's got psychic powers and the show can be pretty damn funny. I guess it's sorta reminds me of Out of this World from back in the day- except for the fact that Evie Ethel Garland was way hotter than Raven....obviously!

I'm just being honest here...knock it if you want. But believe you me...if you give it a chance and actually sit down and watch a full episode--you will find yourself laughing at some point...I mean..yes...Her parents are annoying- and so is her red headed friend, Chelsea (although she is pretty hot now that she lost some weight--which I think she just passed onto Raven and the rest of the cast who have all gotten progressively heavier with each season...have you seen her little brother lately? Probably not because most of you who read this aren't prepubescent girls who watch the Disney channel on Saturday mornings at 9 am...but trust me...he is a big boy now!---scratch that...bigger boy!) Anyhoo....I am just sayin, I am just putting all my cards on the table and saying it loudly and proudly- I LIKE THAT'S SO RAVEN! (oh and Suite Life with Zack and Cody which usually comes on right after is pretty good too...what???)

Give me Five....

Up High....Down Low....to the side...Your to slow....



No..wait...your blind...my bad....okay...It's official...I'm going to hell...