Fireflies Rule

I have never seen a real firefly before since they don't live out here in California....so my friends caught one and sent me this video- which is pretty much the most amazing thing EVER!!!

waffles stuffed with bacon?

I was just saying this morning how I can't remember the last time I went out to breakfast...which means it has been WAY too long.  And now seeing this picture, even though I am not a huge waffle fan, anything involving syrup and bacon is pretty much TITS in my book. So yeah...breakfast- at a restaurant, with endless cups of coffee and bacon will be happening this weekend..no ifs ands or BUTTS (ewwww)

How far is Orlando from SF? I need one of these and I need it NOW

(they are so tiny....)

okay your turn.....

Man...this really makes me wanna play GUESS WHO? 

It always sucked when you got either:

a.) a girl (because there were like 4 total or something so you were pretty much doomed from the get-go to LOSE!

b.) a person wearing a hat

c.) a bald dude

d.) a red head (welp....because ....do I really need to say it?)

I loved to flick the little flappy things down with my middle fingers sorta like I was a librarian or something. I probably did it slowly too...sorta like I was sorta through important stuff and probably played with Lee press on nails too at some point while makin a sorta fishy face as I scan the rows looking for heads to flick down. This is also one of those games that I thought I was "good" at which is basically bullshit when you really think about it, right? I mean, this game really does not take much skill. Since when does asking the "Do you have a mustache?" qualify as a skill?

Milk are for babies, when you get older you drink beer

"I was always dreaming about very powerful people, dictators and things like that. I was just always impressed by people who could be remembered for hundreds of years, or even, like Jesus, be for thousands of years remembered."

 - Arnold Schrwarzenegger

Then how do you explain what happened in July 1991 when you decided to make this crazy deal:

"The $1.25 million agreement between Schwarzenegger and "Pumping Iron" director George Butler allowed the star to "destroy any and all portion thereof" of the film and 90 hours of additional footage as well as still photographs owned by Butler that Schwarzenegger considered "embarrassing" or which might "reflect negatively" on the actor's "professional or private life."  (Check out the Film Purchase Agreement  for yourself at the Smoking Gun.)

Crazy right? 

SO WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WANT TO CONSIDER DESTROYING THE FILM DUDE? YOU COULD BE LIKE JESUS, AND BE REMEMBERED FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS REMEMBERED.

Poo-Poo, Pee-Pee, Ca-Ca....

Try drinking water upside down from the Opposite side of the glass

Besides John Travolta, Corey Feldman, Christian Slater and Danny from the New Kids on the Block, one of my childhood crushes was the one and only KTVU-Channel 2 News Anchor, Dennis Richmond.  Not really sure why- but you can't help who you fall for!! I remember being super young and watching TV and then the boring ass news would come on and there HE would be.... sitting next to that Leslie Griffith (pre-plastic surgery Leslie Griffith with her weird blond up-do...probably some gross french twist or something.) I remember feelin almost like paralyzed by his handsomeness. I assume most girls my age did not have the same reaction to this man as I did.

I never knew much about Dennis Richmond. I mean- to be honest- when I told people I thought he was hot, I often said Dennis Rodman instead of Richmond on accident.

Pretty much all I knew about the guy was that he lived in Oakland and I was told that he was a big smoker and worked out a bunch (all about balance, right?) But other than being hot, having a great voice and looking like he probably gives good hugs...he was pretty much a mystery to me. 

Unfortunately- after 32 years he retired and is no longer on the air so I don't get to see him on TV anymore. I guess I could get all stalkarazzi like and google Image search him all day long or whenever I need a fix but I don't. (not until today!!)

But lucky me....while searching for camping articles, I came across this little gem: KTVU-Anchor Transition without a Hiccup. Turns out Dennis Richmond has a HICCUP PROBLEM and had one the entire time he was on air. WTF? Not only that.....he LIMPS from a paralyzed left ankle. I mean...hold the phone!! My mind is blown....I mean....I ...I still love the guy (obviously...gray hair and all) but um...hello? you could have informed me of this like....hmmm..let's see....mmmm....20 years ago!!! 

Don't worry Michael....

Santa doesn't care if you are an atheist.

I wonder what Jesus has to say about Mom's potty mouth.

Pretty, Pretty Pretty Smart

I mean...I tend to eat pizza so fast that I don't even waste my time with a "plate" or have enough  leftover pizza that would necessitate a storage box for the fridge (if any left at all) but that's just me. Regardless....this is pretty damn clever.

This kitty Puts the "Sweepy" in Sweepy Lil' Baby

I don't want to admit how many times Rachel and I watched this video. Nor do I want to admit to the kinds of squeaks and squeals that came out of our mouths while we goo-goo'd and gaa-gaa'd over this munchkin.

I was gettin worried that my blog was just not enough anymore.

So....I recruited some additional help to spread my thoughts and wisdom to the rest of the world (or at least to portions of Market Street here in San Francisco!)

My BaDizzle

....Sorry for the Coitus Interruptus.....

(you would think that being unemployed would allow me to keep this bad boy updated with new awesome and obviously ridiculously funny posts but somehow I have been pretty much uninspired which means no bloggy blog. But I got the bug again- so be prepared to laugh your butts off....cause Quack attack is back Jack!)

BACON BEER PIZZA and BABY OTTERS: the most updated and raddest blog EVER! Keeyah!!!

Once again....Bacon makes something great...even better!

Yes, my friends...that is Bacon Flavored Pancakes. I am not a huge pancake fan but when I do eat them- I love to drench them and pretty much everything else on my plate (ex: bacon, eggs, sausage....) with a massive amount of syrup. (weird....Courtney using an excessive amount of a condiment on her food??? no..that can't be!) I can't wait to try these bad boys....who is down for some flap jacks? Eat my shorts IHOP. You ain't got nuttin on these.

Oh yeah...haha...this dude even has 5 different flavors of BACON JERKY including Jalapeno and some Tomato/ BLT flavor! Wah wah wee wah. Check out the description from the website....try not to wet yourself:

"The best part about Bacon Jerky in comparison to regular bacon is that when you cook bacon, the aroma floats through the air calling out to those around you to come and get it which means that you have to share. With Bacon Jerky it’s ready to eat the second you want it! "

Um....if that is not a little piece of heaven then I don't know what is. check out this rad blog that is responsible for all this porky product goodness: Bacon is Meat Candy

A little insight on my take on Valentines Day

me: what are you doin for your girlfriend for V-day?

unnamed: well she told me to do nothing. she said it was a silly ass holiday.....

me: hahahah right :) dont we all!

unnamed: you do? ahh fuk

me: yup! i think its a retarded holiday BUT.............................. so is easter !

unnamed: riiiiiiight

me: but i still want a damn cadbury egg!

unnamed: hahahahahah

The decision has been made.....

My first purchase with the money I get from my first unemployment check shall be:

I might even opt to "go LARGE".....we will just have to wait and see how angry I am that day!

Pretty Spot on Trader Joe's Commercial

except he forgot to mention the dope prosecco

Headline on CNN:

"Healthy kidney removed through donor's vagina "

Ouch eeee wah wah!

no thanks!

Is this going to be forever?

Stoned Little Kid After Dentist Visit - Watch more Free Videos
I really wonder what sorta procedure this kid had that required the dentist to use so much drugs that he got so f'd up. I love hearing peoples stories of how weird they got after they had their wisdom teeth taken out. After I woke up from getting my wisdom teeth out- i was ALL weird when they woke me up. When they tried to assist me with walking and help me lay down afterwards- I swear I almost decked out one of the nurses. ..i was like DON'T TOUCH ME...i am FINE. Meanwhile- my friend told me he woke up and said he got up and like hugged the entire nursing staff and doctor. Another buddy said he asked his mom if she wanted him to drive, because he was not used to being wasted in front of his parents. When they were putting my sister under for her wisdom teeth she told the nurses "I am just gonna close my eyes- but you guys can keep talking. I am totally still listening. I am just shutting my eyes." They were probably like...sure honey....Totally like shit you say at a sleep over when you are totally falling asleep !! Oh man- but the funny thing is...is that we were all probably like 19 years old at the time that we dealt with all that. This poor kid is like what..7 years old?? Ha Ha Ha....oh man. Party On!

Kinda Creepy.....

Freaky kids...but just seeing the word "Cadbury" makes want a creme egg..god damn it!

This sorta BLEEP cracks me the BLEEP up