Who the hell?

Is the lucky bastard who gets to feed this infant otter? I need to be that bastard

This is going to be my next purchase

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love blended drinks and if I could, I would drink everything blended or with shaved ice. Not sure why I never thought about buying one of these things before, but hello??? A shaved ice machine for 39 bucks, yes please.

I was going to buy one of these since I loved them as a kid and they were just recently re-released but then I thought about how much work it is to crank that little wheel in the back to get aDixie cup size worth of ice....it would take me days to make one margaritas.

So i guess I will get the grown up version which is also ELECTRIC. I only wish the grown-up version came with the snow shovel scooper and nasty red colored flavoring....but I can't really be picky now can I?

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Just in case....

you go to pinch a dude who is not wearing Green on St. Patrick's Day.....keep this in mind

Can we say: um, TOTALLY DOWN?

saw these a while back at a random Walgreens. No frickin clue why I didnt just buy it then. LAME. This just sounds like my teeth will rot the moment it touches my mouth and will be on fire from the spice at the same time. WOW. total cream dream if you ask me.

This one is for my MOM

Who is the Queen of Peep Hatin

New Chocolate Covered Peeps....Guess they are really not that bad. Hmm....okay....I guess we will never know because I ain't trying them.

Just one more reason to move to New York

K! PizzaCones

When you order, the pizza cone builder pulls your filling combo from a salad bar–like counter (reminded me of one of those new froyo places) and mixes it all in a bowl, shredded cheese, veggies, meat, and all.)

Mark your calendars for March 10--the Dr. is in!!

Bourdain on Yo Gabba Gabba

Dream a little Dream

Last night in my dream, I ate ice cream that looked like this. Except it was a huge HUGE sheet of these sort of cubes---like back of a pick up truck big. And there were tons of layers and each layer was a new color aka a new flavor. And the cubes were really tiny...like the size of a pencil eraser and were colored and all sides. I had to scoop them up with a shovel (like a small gardening one) to eat them. And when I scooped them- they would sorta break off from the other cubes and fall....

Oh and I was also swimming with Paris Hilton and some dude, who "was my boyfriend" but who actually looked like the guy who got Kortney Kardashian prego (ew) all while wrestling alligators in murky gross water. PS> this all took place at an amusement park with my aunts and uncles.

Just one more reason to move to Germany

Laugencroissant: A cross between a wholesome, salty, slightly doughy pretzel and a sweet, flaky, delicate croissant.

It's really not that complicated

Never knew that learning all the parts of the body could be so easy.

(honey....those aren't blood vessels.....we call those SADDLE BAGS)

**NOTE: no idea why I saved this image to my desktop and what I was original searching for but wow....what a gem!

Heard it thru the Grapevine....Xmas style

I used to be....how do you say?.....a little obsessed with the California Raisins. Not sure if it's because I am from California, or the fact that one dude plays a mean saxophone...but regardless, I love the little guys. I even had California Raisin slippers...which basically looked like big pieces of poo on my feet. So when they came out with a Claymation Xmas special...I pretty much lost my mind.

And ever since I watched it...I always say "Here we come a "WAFFELING" and people look at me like I am nuts....but here is proof in the pudding that I am not THAT crazy:

Also...their version of "we three kings" is pretty damn funky. I Here it is.....I also used to sing this all funky when I would hear it on the radio years later, and I could not figure out why I always wanted to "break it down" when I would listen to it, but once again....watch the video and you will figure out why:

But this one probably takes the cake:

Bacon Key

If I don't already have carpal tunnels, this little button would be a sure fire way to develop it!

The Dream Team

Pretty much the most awesome combo EVER!

This Superbowl Sampler of Candles was pretty much made for me!! It's almost scary. I mean, come on...Pizza? CHECK. Bacon? CHECK. Beer? CHECK. Popcorn? UM why the F' not?

(ps: I just unfortunately/ fortunately came across this website "Etsy"....WOWZA......dangerzone. I am like freaking out. I have the same sorta feeling like when I first searched "John Travolta" on Ebay years ago. Holy schnikes. This site has so much dope stuff....homemade/ vintage....nutzo. I searched bacon, otters and devo and almost had a heart attack......)

Too bad it wasn't a stick of butter, huh Paula?

(Is that George Bush Sr. in the background?)

I ain't 'fraid no Ghost

It's almost Thanksgiving and Christmas is right around the corner which means that Halloween is long gone...

But a little pumpkin dance never hurt anyone.

Oh ...and ....awesome Halloween costume for next year? I say, damn straight.

I think I know what I want for my Birthday

Rave it out

Draft Text Messages

These are all real draft text messages from my cell phone that were somehow, for some reason or another, never actually sent. Enjoy....and don't worry...I have no idea what half of them mean either. Also...note-these are all exactly typed as they appear on my phone. I changed nothing. Too bad my draft message folder does not record the time or date at which these were created. That would probably help us understand what I was trying to say at least a little bit more.....or so one would think. Anyhoo...here ya go:

"at the show"

"Um. Yeah. That was me this morning. Cant wait to get back there"

"What is ladybug in german"

"looks like"

"In bathroo"

" ;) i need"

"Cool. I am already at se"

"So looks like we will have free time between 130 and 530 on sunday. We should hook up and get some food or something. want you to meet rachel"

"oct 16 is the best date to do it. I can"

"we found clayton. Found a spot to the very right of the trees toward the back. Tiny blanket. Sorry"

"Or bust a kidney"

"Is the hotel rate only"

"Sweet"

"We are wasted but been hanging out with mandy"

"I love you so much and I at wasted wih manedom" <---- (ookayyyy???)

"Hi baby. I miss you."

"S"

"What"

"You"

"Man oh Man"

"Saweet. Foot have to take kids to bart"

"Sorry. It sucks that i have to do it today. We may have to come pick up the car here later. Call me when you have a second"

"I am headin to abru"

"Nevermind. Its Eva" <------(dont know a freaking eva ...)

"I can meet you"

"You fee like egg plant" <------(yes...TWO words)

"I left"

"I was"

"We are down to just chill here. Wish we had a new"

"they"

"101 south t"

"meeti"

"yellow cab"

"my alarm goes off than less then 30 mid"

"Bummer"

"Yeah. Much"

"I be here and it does not look lik"

"Cool beans. What time you"

"Meg is"

"Via"

"Up puppies are so cute. But I think I like the rosa" <-----(i only wish i knew)

"I am back"

"Going o"

"Ah cool. Its our friend michael who you have met art show and sorta early birthday. You could come. How is joned"

"what size shirt do you think dad is?" <-----(rad)

"of course"

"would you want to try that activia" <-----(hahahahhaha)

'I am so ready to have some licorice"

"we will do"

"Just been trying to get parkin my"

"I think so too"

"In N out" <-----(amen)

Never thought I would agree with O'Reily

BACON POLICE----Not down